Knowing your Friends

Speed is not my friend. Call it a confidence complexity, a trust issue, whatever the case, Speed and I have never hit it off.

It started on the bunny hill in a world class ski resort in the Rocky Mountains. While 5 year olds were embracing Speed, I sat on the side, taking deep breaths before throwing myself down the run. I was a skeptic. Come to think of it, I'm not friends with Turns either. Turns and I, one sided relationship. It took me a while to become acquainted with Turns, a good few seasons actually. For a long while, I could only turned one way. The right way. It took a lot of stacks and bruises to finally turn left. Deep breath, b-i-g circle.

Since we're on the topic, I'll admit, I'm not friends with Two Wheels either. Or maybe it's called Balance. When it comes to wheels, the more the merrier.

So I don't really know what overcame me when I decided to purchase a Scooter. After a long winter, we finally picked it up.

And, I fell off within half an hour. Speed laughed, so did Balance. My poor knees weren't so happy. My Jeans and I became best mates.

When I finally overcame the whole Balance thing, and let the machine drive me in a straight line, I needed to face Turn. I was told that I needed more Speed. Damn. When I finally overcame Turn, I found I could only turn one way. Right. By the time I managed to turn left.. I felt deflated and sore like snow boarding, and my arms were lead like I was boxing non stop for ten hours (this is the same person who gets blisters on their hands when riding a bicycle). But I turned!!!

Slowly, I am getting used to it. I need a little more control, a little more confidence. As for Speed and I... we're slowly making it work. I'm only at 25kms, but I'll get there eventually.

Here are some pics of my new toy. Look out for canary yellow if you're on the road!


The best part about owning a Scooter? This is how much it cost to fill a tank:

Who says Accountants are Boring?

I studied Commerce and majored in Accounting. I was once upset with not getting an Accounting scholarship. Later, I refused to do my CA. My Accounting career lasted a whole 9 months - I quit my Auditor trainee ship at a Big 5 to become a really bad Developer. You can say I am either an expert judge of stereotyped professionals, or hold a somewhat biased view. I've studied and worked in both Accounting and IT, and know some very cool people. I have a lot of Accounting and IT friends, and they are neither boring nor geeky (that's not what I tell them). I'd like to think that I'm not boring or geeky. Stereotypes suck.

Until I met my first Accountant. Potential Accountant. Potential because I walked out thinking he was the most boring person I've met, and coincidentally fit the Accountant stereotype like a glove.

Although I initiated the inquiry about his services, I expected that him, being the professional in this relationship and I the client, would lead the meeting. Instead, he leads me into a dark meeting room and sat there waiting for me to start. I had to nod at him after I finished rambling to prompt him to start talking.. which ended up in mumbled monotone questions, head down, and a few neat squiggles on the page. I didn't even realized he had asked me 'how Toronto was treating me'. I blinked and asked him to repeat because I could not believe such pleasantry could come out so dull. His response to my animated reply was no better.

Since he wasn't offering me any information, I did the asking. I felt like I was at work, digging with a million questions, trying to piece together fragmented information to understand the reason for something because the person could not just simply tell you.. "this is what happens and this is why". What frustrates me is when I get the answer.. "this is what happens, that's the way it is"... "what do you mean why?". Just like at work, I have to coax and cautiously detour around defensiveness.

It's bloody hard work, and a headache. I thought people paid accountants to give advice and guide them in their decisions. This dude wanted me to pay him $325 to prepare my taxes... and that involves me to handing over my spreadsheet with macros and built in formulas that calculated my invoices and cash flow for the year, so he doesn't have to charge me for bookkeeping!

To think the hour I took off work to meet this guy would have been better spent and more stimulating reading Canadian Tax Law.

I'm a believer of the stereotype. I'm an exception. So are my friends. We must have skipped one too many Accounting lectures.

Bollywood in Vegas

Vegas. There is nothing quite like it. Everything is larger than life, if you're not the biggest, you're not the best. You can see lions, the Pyramids, New York and Paris and hundreds of other huge hotels and casinos side by side on a mere 7km strip. Vegas spans the entire spectrum of slum, tackiness, frustrating arrogance, and even a little bit of class.

My last trip to Sin City was back in my backpacker days on a Contiki tour. We stayed off the strip in a dingy motel. I think it was behind a Denny's carpark, the motel was painted pink with blue trim.

Not a gambler, Vegas is not on my list of favorite places to revisit. But our bride-to-be wanted to spend her last hurrah in Sin City, and Sin City was where we went.

It started at the airport where the bride-to-be donned the mandatory stagette veil... we had the whole airplane clap as we boarded! The veil was not allowed to come off the entire weekend, which is fine when you're with a whole much of girls, but so used to the hair piece, the runaway bride went shopping by herself and either had to fend off pitiful glances for the crazy woman with the veil, or take a moment to work out why someone congratulated her each time.

The theme was Bollywood... before we went out on the town, our stagette was decked out in an Indian outfit, was presented her dowry of a million gold chains and bangles, and was well wished with Caesars Palace chocolate gold coins pelted at her.

On arrival, our bride-to-be was surprised to stay at Caesars Palace... a thousands times bigger than a Denny's-car-park-motel, and much, much better than The Golden Nugget that we had made the guest of honor believe. One can spend an entire day or two in the hotel and complex, and still be entertained, even if you're not gambling.

The last time we went Contiki-style clubbing in Vegas, it was at a club way off the strip, there was toilet paper strewn from the ceiling, that ended up knee high on the dance floor. Bikini clad girls offered shots from test tubes, and the boys would be swooning for photos.

Clubbing this time round was a different affair. We went to XS, the newest and best club in town (apparently), and part of the gorgeous Encore hotel. Before you can even get to the scantily clad girls, you have to get through the door. To get through the door, you need to say the key word - and no, it's not "test tube shots". Rather, Bottle Service. Bottle service is nothing new in North America, we were expecting it. But at $400 a pop, with a maximum of three girls sharing one bottle was a little outrageous (we would need $1200 USD and end up with 3 bottles of Grey Goose!). So we wait in line. And the bouncers pick and choose who they want to let in. They are very good at not making eye contact. That is unless you wave them over for a greasy handshake. We're guessing it would be a few hundred dollar greasy handshake for us to get it.

Once you're in though, the venue is pretty dang amazing. Pity it's a journey to get to the bar and it took us almost an hour to get a drink. After $16 shots (that's for one) and an even more expensive chaser, and no way of getting more overpriced alcohol within an acceptable time frame, we gave up on drinking... So we made the bride-to-be entertain us instead!!

(this is as much of the club I'm allowed to show - there are actually beds in the water)


Food was surprisingly amazing (for American fare!). We sampled Alize, with an amazing view and impeccable service - every time you get up or sit down, someone is miraculously there to pull your chair and fold your napkin! The food was fantastic, European dining at American sized serves. Way too much food to warrant our buffet at Wynn's the next day - but no complaints since I had the best cream brulee ever!

Slot machines all seemed the same to me. I put all my money in, press a button and leave the seat much poorer. Not much excitement for me unless you counter the flutter when you credit goes up by $1. But we got introduced to Wheel of Fortune slot machines! Not only do you play your chances of winning a row of something or other, but you play for a chance to spin the wheel and multiply your bet by whatever the wheel landed on. It's fantastic!

So the six of us are sitting at the boarding gate (trying to hide from a guy we met at one of the clubs who happened to be on our flight), eying the blinding lights of the Wheel of Fortune... calling for us. One by one, we relent, scramble in our purses for last scraps of USD... only two of us got lucky, but hey, it was the best entertainment I've ever had waiting for a plane!